The People and Animals in the Land of Gym

I spend a fair amount of time in the gym and nothing tips me off like these people I'm about to mention. It just shows that how insensitive and uncourteous these people are towards the welfare of others.

The Vocalist

The inevitable attention ho. Making so much sound like them Japanese porno girls. Usually the big guy who has too much vocal capabilities.

They come in groups too. With the lead vocalist holding 100kgs and the back-ups "singing" one, two, three, four and then RARRR!!! What's the point of carrying 100kgs and the spotter takes like 30kgs away?

Might as well take 70kgs right? Oh, I forgot. They're attention hos.

tell-tale signs: the sound identical to orgasms and giving birth.

The Exhibitionist
The naked guy in the men's room. The problem is, they're not even hot. If you're looking hot and sizzling like them supermodels, by all means strip.

Just kidding, the point is; I don't wanna see your pendulum swinging left to right and cover that lardy arse.

tell-tale signs: Usually the ang mohs. They think that its OK being naked at the beach so the same applies in the gym.

The Hogger
The lowliest creatures of the gym. I fucking hate these inconsiderate people species. They hog all the gym equipments all to themselves.

Another subspecies of the Hogger kin are the handphone-equipped hoggers. Equally awful, they have conversations with their BFFs while the poor people like me have wait for them.

For fuck's sake, talk in the dark corner somewhere in the gym. Why would you wanna chat with someone when on the phone you're working out?

tell-tale signs: like how a dog pees to mark its spot. Same here for the hoggers. They mark their spot with towels and bottles to "book" an equipment while they go working on some other machines.

The Stalker
The gym in not a cruising or get-a-hook up spot thank you. That belongs to the club. While it is natural for our eyes to be attracted to all things beautiful, please do it discreetly and not like a dog in heat.

It's just plain freaky and uncomfortable.

tell-tale sign: balding ugly men.

The Hairdryer
The hairdryers are obviously for your hair; not your armpit hair; not your pubic hair or whatever bodily hair there is. Its a HAIRdryer for the hair on your HEAD goddammit.

tell-tale sign: armpitish stench.

The Aunties
In LOTR, there's the fellowship of the ring; in the gym we have the fellowship of the aunties! They come running walking on the treadmill for 5 minutes and call it a workout then you see them munching on their popiahs, keropok lekor, etc.

tell-tale signs: a mob of women in their 40s and 50s.

The Shitleavers
Like a person who uses the public toilet and never flush after that. This is exactly what the shitleavers do. They expect others to clean their shit for them.

It is not safe for others. I almost tripped stepping on the shit they left.

To those who did this, fuck you.

tell-tale sign: a landmine of weights.

The Sweaties
They sweat buckets and deposits them onto the gym equipment. It's fucking disgusting. Always wipe wipe wipe all your body excrement away!

tell-tale signs: Wet gym equipments.

The B.O.
I wonder why do some people stink so much? Did they "forget" about their deodorant or something? Some are so unbearable and you just refuse to workout in the B.O.'s 200cm radius.

Their stench is much stronger and potent in the men's room where its not so ventilated. If the government wants an alternative for tear bomb, the B.O.s are a great choice.

Evacuation is guaranteed.

tell-tale signs: green toxic mist.

In case you're wondering why am I so grumpy in gym, now you know why. 

Thanks for reading
EV xoxo

Slurpeelicious Moments

Slurpee is organizing this Slurpeelicious Moments from 21 Sept - 18 Oct. All you have to do is to upload any photograph depicting your best slurpee moment and upload it here. The grand prize is RM6000 and I'm not letting this opportunity to pass by! So, U-sern, Kheen Ho, Li Yen and I got together and we did a couple of awesome shots.

I'm on the 2nd tier and I'm telling you, balancing friends, slurpee and LIVES on the pyramid is a tough feat. Thanks to the extras that made this pyramid happen. It was a complex manoeuvre to mount and dismount the slurpees. But.... all this was a waste of effort cos rules and regulations stated that the slurpee/s must be 40% of the picture. I decided to upload the picture anyway cos its way too cool. Can you see the contrast between our picture and other contestants'? We're uber-cool.

Keeping it by the rules, we've toned down our uber-coolness to this sunny heart warming picture:

 I love you U-sern! Your expression booms.

So now that you've seen the pictures, do vote for us during 19 Oct to 25 Oct. We assure you that yum-cha sessions will be on us for a long long time :)

Oh btw U-sern, I just can't help but to see the resemblance of your facials to these pics:

LMAO

Thanks for reading xoxo

A Slight Grasp of the Malaysian Culture

I chatted with my dear friend Joel, who is currently studying in the U.S. We talked about the differences between the Americans and the Malaysians. This gave me an idea for my first blogging entry. As I've never been out of the country, culture has always intrigued me.

If you came across a stranger who said, "good morning" to you. Would you feel awkward? Would you return the greeting? Or maybe say "No, no no!" out of fear that they might be a salesman? This manner of greeting might seem rather bizarre in Malaysia. However, it is completely normal for someone in Pasadena, CA to greet someone they don't know with a good morning. If you decided to greet people in the streets of KL, it would be PHENOMENON probably as great as the lunar eclipse. I think that Malaysians are afraid of showing/receiving courtesy because we were told as kids that strangers are bad news. Never mind the lack of greeting, lets move on to other "unique" Malaysian traits.

Typical Malaysians rush as though there's a mega sale going on whenever the traffic lights turn yellow. I'm sure most of you have done this, I would too if I could drive. The feeling of rushing before the lights turn red is comparable to an action movie. Think of a horde of zombies chasing after your car.

Where driving is concerned, we are at our worst on the roads. KL city drivers tend to be one of the following. 1. The Insane 2. The Arrogant 3. The Suicidal. There seems to be an unwritten pecking order system of the road. As you may have read in your history books, royalty and ministers are at the top of the hierarchy and same applies to the road. Warning signs involve: A swagger of black Mercedes/Rolls Royce with an army of police escorts. Failure to give way may be fatal. Second on pecking order are the police cars, ambulance, fire engines and other emergency vehicles. You probably see some opportunistic losers tailing behind to beat traffic too. Moving down the pecking order, are the lorry drivers, trucks and other gargantuan vehicles -DON'T MESS. Next on the order are the politicians, tycoons, CEOs and the si lai lais. Since that their cars are more expensive than ours, they own the road by default. Next are the ah beng racers and mat rempits. Regconizable by their loud techno music on stereo, heavily modified cars and car stickers. Descending some more, are the motorbikes. They will squeeze their way in any given gaps. Most liable to scratch your car and break your side mirrors. Below the motorbikes are the uncles/pak ciks. Lost in time, driving old beat-up cars and hogging the right lane. To them, the road is like an evening stroll in the park. After all, they will be gone soon. These guys take their sweet time completely shut off from the rest of the world. Any glares/taunts/provocation will be ignored. Lastly we have the poor law abiding citizens at the bottom of the pecking order.

Malaysians are prone to parking in spaces allocated for the disabled. It's almost as if the disabled don't ever leave their houses. So who cares, I'm going to park in their spot anyway. I'm a regular user of the public transport and I've seen too many times the elderly/expecting mothers being virtually ignored. People actually pretend to be asleep or look busy. Gets me on my nerves all the time.

Now, moving you to something more fundamental and basic, it is a shame that Malaysia has become synonymous with disgusting public toilets. The act of shitting had somewhat become impossible to swallow. Imagine having to sit around the toilet rim marinated the with poop and pee pee of strangers. That certainly sends a chill up my spine like any good horror movie would. In response to Shakira's She-Wolf lyrics, the lines:

    "I'm starting to feel just a little abused like a coffee machine in an office"

Should totally be changed to:

   "I'm starting to feel just a little abused like a Malaysian toilet in the peak hour"

That's all I have to write about for now. I've covered a teeny weeny fraction of Malaysian culture. I'm going to write more but I'm feeling eager to publish my first blogging entry. Til then, may God bless our mess! Thank you for reading :)

p.s thanks to Joel and Alex for editing and keeping my blog redundant-free.