The People and Animals in the Land of Gym

I spend a fair amount of time in the gym and nothing tips me off like these people I'm about to mention. It just shows that how insensitive and uncourteous these people are towards the welfare of others.

The Vocalist

The inevitable attention ho. Making so much sound like them Japanese porno girls. Usually the big guy who has too much vocal capabilities.

They come in groups too. With the lead vocalist holding 100kgs and the back-ups "singing" one, two, three, four and then RARRR!!! What's the point of carrying 100kgs and the spotter takes like 30kgs away?

Might as well take 70kgs right? Oh, I forgot. They're attention hos.

tell-tale signs: the sound identical to orgasms and giving birth.

The Exhibitionist
The naked guy in the men's room. The problem is, they're not even hot. If you're looking hot and sizzling like them supermodels, by all means strip.

Just kidding, the point is; I don't wanna see your pendulum swinging left to right and cover that lardy arse.

tell-tale signs: Usually the ang mohs. They think that its OK being naked at the beach so the same applies in the gym.

The Hogger
The lowliest creatures of the gym. I fucking hate these inconsiderate people species. They hog all the gym equipments all to themselves.

Another subspecies of the Hogger kin are the handphone-equipped hoggers. Equally awful, they have conversations with their BFFs while the poor people like me have wait for them.

For fuck's sake, talk in the dark corner somewhere in the gym. Why would you wanna chat with someone when on the phone you're working out?

tell-tale signs: like how a dog pees to mark its spot. Same here for the hoggers. They mark their spot with towels and bottles to "book" an equipment while they go working on some other machines.

The Stalker
The gym in not a cruising or get-a-hook up spot thank you. That belongs to the club. While it is natural for our eyes to be attracted to all things beautiful, please do it discreetly and not like a dog in heat.

It's just plain freaky and uncomfortable.

tell-tale sign: balding ugly men.

The Hairdryer
The hairdryers are obviously for your hair; not your armpit hair; not your pubic hair or whatever bodily hair there is. Its a HAIRdryer for the hair on your HEAD goddammit.

tell-tale sign: armpitish stench.

The Aunties
In LOTR, there's the fellowship of the ring; in the gym we have the fellowship of the aunties! They come running walking on the treadmill for 5 minutes and call it a workout then you see them munching on their popiahs, keropok lekor, etc.

tell-tale signs: a mob of women in their 40s and 50s.

The Shitleavers
Like a person who uses the public toilet and never flush after that. This is exactly what the shitleavers do. They expect others to clean their shit for them.

It is not safe for others. I almost tripped stepping on the shit they left.

To those who did this, fuck you.

tell-tale sign: a landmine of weights.

The Sweaties
They sweat buckets and deposits them onto the gym equipment. It's fucking disgusting. Always wipe wipe wipe all your body excrement away!

tell-tale signs: Wet gym equipments.

The B.O.
I wonder why do some people stink so much? Did they "forget" about their deodorant or something? Some are so unbearable and you just refuse to workout in the B.O.'s 200cm radius.

Their stench is much stronger and potent in the men's room where its not so ventilated. If the government wants an alternative for tear bomb, the B.O.s are a great choice.

Evacuation is guaranteed.

tell-tale signs: green toxic mist.

In case you're wondering why am I so grumpy in gym, now you know why. 

Thanks for reading
EV xoxo