A Slight Grasp of the Malaysian Culture

I chatted with my dear friend Joel, who is currently studying in the U.S. We talked about the differences between the Americans and the Malaysians. This gave me an idea for my first blogging entry. As I've never been out of the country, culture has always intrigued me.

If you came across a stranger who said, "good morning" to you. Would you feel awkward? Would you return the greeting? Or maybe say "No, no no!" out of fear that they might be a salesman? This manner of greeting might seem rather bizarre in Malaysia. However, it is completely normal for someone in Pasadena, CA to greet someone they don't know with a good morning. If you decided to greet people in the streets of KL, it would be PHENOMENON probably as great as the lunar eclipse. I think that Malaysians are afraid of showing/receiving courtesy because we were told as kids that strangers are bad news. Never mind the lack of greeting, lets move on to other "unique" Malaysian traits.

Typical Malaysians rush as though there's a mega sale going on whenever the traffic lights turn yellow. I'm sure most of you have done this, I would too if I could drive. The feeling of rushing before the lights turn red is comparable to an action movie. Think of a horde of zombies chasing after your car.

Where driving is concerned, we are at our worst on the roads. KL city drivers tend to be one of the following. 1. The Insane 2. The Arrogant 3. The Suicidal. There seems to be an unwritten pecking order system of the road. As you may have read in your history books, royalty and ministers are at the top of the hierarchy and same applies to the road. Warning signs involve: A swagger of black Mercedes/Rolls Royce with an army of police escorts. Failure to give way may be fatal. Second on pecking order are the police cars, ambulance, fire engines and other emergency vehicles. You probably see some opportunistic losers tailing behind to beat traffic too. Moving down the pecking order, are the lorry drivers, trucks and other gargantuan vehicles -DON'T MESS. Next on the order are the politicians, tycoons, CEOs and the si lai lais. Since that their cars are more expensive than ours, they own the road by default. Next are the ah beng racers and mat rempits. Regconizable by their loud techno music on stereo, heavily modified cars and car stickers. Descending some more, are the motorbikes. They will squeeze their way in any given gaps. Most liable to scratch your car and break your side mirrors. Below the motorbikes are the uncles/pak ciks. Lost in time, driving old beat-up cars and hogging the right lane. To them, the road is like an evening stroll in the park. After all, they will be gone soon. These guys take their sweet time completely shut off from the rest of the world. Any glares/taunts/provocation will be ignored. Lastly we have the poor law abiding citizens at the bottom of the pecking order.

Malaysians are prone to parking in spaces allocated for the disabled. It's almost as if the disabled don't ever leave their houses. So who cares, I'm going to park in their spot anyway. I'm a regular user of the public transport and I've seen too many times the elderly/expecting mothers being virtually ignored. People actually pretend to be asleep or look busy. Gets me on my nerves all the time.

Now, moving you to something more fundamental and basic, it is a shame that Malaysia has become synonymous with disgusting public toilets. The act of shitting had somewhat become impossible to swallow. Imagine having to sit around the toilet rim marinated the with poop and pee pee of strangers. That certainly sends a chill up my spine like any good horror movie would. In response to Shakira's She-Wolf lyrics, the lines:

    "I'm starting to feel just a little abused like a coffee machine in an office"

Should totally be changed to:

   "I'm starting to feel just a little abused like a Malaysian toilet in the peak hour"

That's all I have to write about for now. I've covered a teeny weeny fraction of Malaysian culture. I'm going to write more but I'm feeling eager to publish my first blogging entry. Til then, may God bless our mess! Thank you for reading :)

p.s thanks to Joel and Alex for editing and keeping my blog redundant-free.